Decode Me
by MadameImagination
Summary: Just boiling in my blood But you think that I can?t see What kind of man that you are If you?re a man at all Well, I will figure this one out On my own (I'm screaming, I love you so) On my own (But my thoughts you can't decode)- Paramore Allison is screaming...for him. But she let him go. She did that on her own and being this alone is haunting...just haunting.


She had been like this for days, she moved quietly and quickly she felt like she just wanted to disappear into the wall becoming a shadow. Pressing herself up against the walls as she walked from her room to the bathroom or down to the kitchen. Her sleeping patterns were on a different clock than her father's so her nights quickly and quietly moving downstairs were uninterrupted which is what she wanted. She needed, the strand of her hair hanging in her face is the only thing that she didn't see as a threat. The world she created for herself collapsed in a matter of weeks, months. She was more alone than she was coming into this town, she had it all friends, good grades- and a boyfriend. Her eyes darted to the pictures pinned between a mirror and it's frame. He couldn't ice skate and teaching him was pointless but in that small photo booth she could see the last bit of him she couldn't make herself throw away. Everything else was gone, the poster she forced Lydia to stand next to "#11" Lydia hated that poster well now it was burned in her back yard along with everything else but that strip of photos.  
Allison didn't want to remove him from her life but to get him out of her head she had to, no matter how much she cried and beat herself up she had to let him go. Her mother was dead, her aunt- and her grandfather- if you could call him that was missing. Her father didn't talk just stared and nodded. Pulling the blankets tighter around her body she almost glared at her mirror, pale and red Allison was a little sicken by her appearance but she didn't bother to fix it. Pushing her bangs back from her face she realized she hadn't talked to anyone in weeks. Picking up her phone on the oppisite side of her bed she realized it had been on, no one- nothing from anyone. She shook letting her phone slip from her fingers; no one cared how Allison felt not after the things she had done, the things she said. Pulling her arm back into her blanket she pulled it high on her shoulders it was still the beginning of summer and she had no plans she hoped she'd be spending time with Scott, shopping and girl time with Lydia listening to Stiles talk this summer but she was sitting and has been sitting since…she didn't actually even know the date, she knew Scott sat on the corner of her bed and then was gone and along with him went her friends, her life, her reasons.  
For?  
Everything.  
Her hair fell around her face as she got up and moved to the window, dusk. Opening the window the cold-ish breeze against her bare neck brought the blanket in tighter; tucking her hand under her chin she looked to her roof and then at the ground before turning around and walking back to her bed and sitting. How did she get here, the reflection in the mirror was disturbing. Not how Allison normally saw herself she was…  
Bitter.  
Broken, and…  
Looking at herself in the mirror she got up closer and her skin, it was….breaking. Each time she touched it another piece broke off and a flash of a memory shook her from the inside.  
His hand touching hers when he handed her the pen, "Thanks" the rushing thought of how'd he know.  
Another piece, skipping school on her birthday and the clumsy falling, laughter.  
Third piece and Allison blinked and it didn't go away now she was just staring at him, he smiled and she froze what was this?  
Her self-conscious? He smiled again and then turned to walk away…  
"Scott" she called  
"Scott?" he didn't do anything just kept walking  
"Scott!" she now shouted and he turned and looked at her, at this point Allison was pawing at her mirror her blanket dropped around her feet, sports bra and pajama pants and she kept calling for him after he smiled at her and he just kept walking.  
"Scott!" she called again but this time she opened her eyes and let her eyes adjust looking over to the window, she could swear he was there. "Scott?" she now changed her tone and scrambled to the end of the bed he jumped and Allison leap toward the window.  
Catching herself she leaned out the window looking down at the ground just below, nothing.  
Throwing herself back from the window she squeezed her legs to her chest, and rested her head against them. Smacking herself mentally and physically she shot her head up and wiped the stray tear from her eye. Crying now wasn't tears it was just silent sobs she didn't have anymore, cliché as that sounded she had no more. Just silent sobs, breathless sobbing.  
She couldn't make herself believe she made the right choice to matter how right he sounded in her head.  
Her heart said, she couldn't survive and she knew it was true. But she couldn't let her…family her mother down. She was an Argent and he wasn't the right one…just one of the many.  
One of the many?  
Allison knew she was telling herself everything she thought she wanted to hear…but her heart rate was telling her differently, it sped up everything she lied and she could feel it.  
He'd come if her heart rate went up, jumping up she paced a little deep breathing trying to get it back down but, he'd come if it was high enough- if she just for one moment seemed…and felt scared. Always, he always came!  
"No!" she shouted at herself and slammed herself into her bed face in the pillow, she couldn't. She shouldn't.  
Before she knew it, back to normal she didn't hear it in her ears and couldn't feel it, her heart rate was normal, she laid like this face turned toward the window…just until her eyes closed then she turned her head toward the wall….

What she didn't know is he was already here…  
Scott scaled the roof just as she turned away from the window, he looked in….always, he'd show up always.


End file.
